Williams Family: Famous Walter and Other Suppositions

 

First, Famous Walter!  The other evening, the husband, our houseguest, and I visited Disney's Coronado Springs Resort for a lovely alfresco meal at Three Bridges.  On both our way to and from the restaurant, we stopped by the resort gift shop, Panchito's Gifts and Sundries.  During our last stop, there was a small child crying in a stroller.  Multiple adults accompanied the child, each browsing sections of the store, with one of the adults pushing the stroller.  I approached and began talking to the securely strapped in little older than a toddler to distract him from crying.  It worked!  The adults gathered around the stroller, one to make sure I seemed (supposition) safe and two, to see the child's reactions.  I introduced myself to the child and one of the adults told me the child's name was Walter.  Oh, my!  I told Walter that this entire area was created by a man named Walt (Walter, actually) and therefore, he, Walter, was famous.  That generated a smile.  From that moment on, he was referred to as Famous Walter.  By the time our interaction ended, Famous Walter had his fingers in his mouth, his eyes droopy.  We waved good-bye.  It was evident that Famous Walter's family was from the UK and I ventured to guess arrived that day at the resort meaning it was a very long day and very late (supposition) for Famous Walter.

A supposition is "an idea that something may be true without certain proof."  I typically operate with a positive supposition. 

Now, more about suppositions.  

While playing cards on the lanai last evening, after a wonderful rainstorm that took the heat and humidity out of the air, a group of 17 to 22 year olds walked by on the sidewalk.  I said "good evening" and asked about the new camera.  A previous encounter had elicited a conversation about the purchase of a new video camera by one of the young men.  I was informed that none of that group had the camera, but the guy parking the car nearby was the owner of the camera.  This is what I overheard, "Hey, the people that we walk by all the time are asking about your camera?"  I love this!  We are part of the fabric of their neighborhood.  This makes us connected; safe.  As the camera owner walked by, he informed us that he had loaned it to a friend recently and would retrieve it shortly.  All of this isn't really about the camera--it was about having previous knowledge in which to have an interaction, a positive interaction! 

It reminded me of the many times I was leaving work, exiting schools at the end of the day and the start of the evening, and seeing youngsters playing on playgrounds.  I won't say always, but I will say that I frequently verbally interacted with "who is winning" or "stay safe" or "keep an eye on the place."  I enjoyed these interactions with the young people, old enough to gather on an elementary school playground without parent supervision.  Some were former students, some were not.  And, each time, my supposition as to why they were there and what they were doing was positive--play, socialize, do no harm to others, themselves, me, or the building.  That positive supposition worked, for the most part. One school I was a part of for seven years, had vandalism the summer prior to my arrival and one other overnight incident.  I was told by a district maintenance supervisor that vandalism had declined.  Good!  

As I venture, a positive supposition is a continued goal! Beliefs behind the words matters. 

Williams Family: The Years That Nearly Broke Me

 

At the moment you are experiencing something you have no idea what is to come; only what has come before and led up to this moment. If I had known at any given moment early in the happenings what lied ahead, I might have given up. Thank goodness for friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors who helped. 

2015 to 2022 was tough.  A friend told me once that if she were going through what I was going through she would be curled up.  There were times I was curled up, catatonic.  And, there were times I was spittin' mad.  The husband said it all made me stronger. 

In the summer of 2015, after the school year had ended, I was summoned to the school district's central office.  Because of student achievement of the English Language Learner subgroup I had to be moved to become a principal at another school because of federal legislation at that time. Federal legislation that has since been re-written but you may recall, "failing" schools had to remove administration. I was moved to a school that had more red in the student achievement column than the school I was leaving, but it was the number of years in the red that mattered.  I was off contract (on summer break), students and staff were well into their summer routines. Nevertheless, I packed up my office and moved out in a day while speculation and announcements flurried.  My primary concern, the school secretary, aka administrative assistant.  She had worked with the incoming administrator before and it didn't go well.  What can we do, I asked district leaders behind the decision to move principals.  Nothing.  Well, by October, a new school secretary was needed as my warning went unheard and unheeded.  That August, I took the helm of my 5th elementary school in the district. I had done this before and knew how to make the transition as smooth as possible.  What was new about this assignment was the political arm--teacher association presidents, school board members families working at and attending the school.  This continued for the eight years of my tenure. 

In early October of 2015, our dishwasher sprang a slow leak, seeping into the subfloor of our kitchen and eventually into a portion of our basement.  Insurance company, kitchen upheaval with floor and bottom cabinets removed, mold remediation, cooking in a microwave on a cart, eating off paper plates, and walking in/out of the kitchen through a floor to ceiling plastic sheet described the days that turned into weeks. Our kitchen was put back together between Christmas and New Years. 

Then a sewer back-up in our basement on Thanksgiving 2015 led to a multi-year lawsuit with the city as city staff told me in our garage as their Valcal truck was pumping the sewer lines from a manhole cover in the street, that our home was on a "private sewer" releasing them from any responsibility.  Not the lines from our home to the main lines, but the main lines themselves throughout a neighborhood encompassing multiple streets and homes. The case went to court in August of 2021 and a judge agreed with all the evidence collected including an annexation decree.  The Iowa Supreme Court overturned the ruling citing precedent that courts could not make that ruling and ultimately city officials had to make the determination, a route that was taken first with pleas to city council members to no avail.  It felt like being betrayed by a city I had called home for the majority of my life. 

We spent Thanksgiving weekend hauling the contents of our basement into a dumpster in our driveway.  Thankful for help from friends and neighbors. We joked how it was a good thing the new kitchen floor hadn't been installed yet as we lugged damaged items up the stairs, through the kitchen, and out the back door to the dumpster. Special cleaning, and more mold remediation, this time on our dime. The deep freeze, heater, and washer made it through, but a new water heater and clothes dryer were necessary. 

This issue has resurfaced recently, and the city repaired a sewer issue on a line that one of their city department heads, who was fired in 2023, told the public, city officials, and court officers was not city's responsibility. Glad the city is taking responsibility for the sewer lines--now. 

2017-2020 a school district central office administrator who attempted more than once to admonish. I wasn't the only one in the rifle's site and shots fired worked on others who left the district. I fought back and supported others fighting back; offering advice, protective stances, and moral support. The supervisor directed others to fire shots at me and others, as if this wouldn't be evident. In December of 2019, with the help of a county attorney, an emergency injunction from a judge, and a full court press from the press, the last attempt to admonish failed and the supervisor moved on to another school district in June of 2020, was eventually demoted, then moved on to another school district. 

There were times during this central office administrator at the helm, I was told I was changing positions.  Even fielding a phone call when I was about to board a cruise ship in July, telling me I would be at a different school the next month. Upon disembarkation, another phone call revealed that was incorrect and in fact, I would principal at one school full time and another school part time, shared with another colleague.  The next summer when asked by this person where I was vacationing, I said, "I'm not telling so that I don't get a phone call telling me my position has changed." Then there was the time I was told I was moving again, this time to be a principal at a middle school.  I negotiated salary, personnel, then was told no to those negotiations.  Then, I said no.  Do you know the scene in Baby Boom when Diane Keaton's character declines the buy out offer for her baby food production company?  Well, that was my Baby Boom moment.  As I got in my car after the meeting, I called a colleague, knowing they were next in line so that they, too, could say no.  And, they did.  The administrator who took that position ended up with a salary $40,000 more than what I had negotiated, and the schools closed down in March due to Covid-19. Cha-ching to that individual!  In the first week of March of 2020 as talk of quarantining cruise ship passengers upon return circulated, this central office administrator said to me at the end of an admin meeting, "You're going on a cruise for Spring Break, right?"  I could see the look of glee in the thought of the husband and I being quarantined for two weeks without pay along with any other staff.  My response was no, headed to Walt Disney World.  Of course, we didn't make it as the world shut down the next week. 

During the last of the supervisor's reign, I was prescribed medication, which I took to help with the most difficult days (mostly nights) and saw an Employee Assistance counselor who recommended I get another job. No other strategies--quit and find employment. 

Since that time, I faced one other "hit man" who had me in tears after a day-long meeting due to disrespectful remarks and interrupting me when I spoke.  While I was stunned with the behavior displayed towards me in the meeting, so were my colleagues.  After another interaction and inappropriate remark, I stood my ground during a fierce conversation. When the husband and I retired from the district, this same person was in charge of the retirement reception, a reception that I didn't receive an invitation to as it was sent to someone else with a similar name.  Yep, not invited to my own retirement reception hosted by the school district. Thankfully, other honorees shared the invitation.  As a note, since 2022, there have been multiple job changes for this person across districts and most recently was released from a leadership position early.

The "dance of the lemons" is real.  The lasting trauma is real and dissipates with time.  Schadenfreude is real.  Disenfranchisement is real. The universe gives messages like having a court hearing in the morning and closing on your retirement home in the afternoon, having no control over the assigned dates or either. And retirement package offerings when you are ready. Living a full, satisfying life is the best response. 

Williams Family: My Take On Gifts

 

Sheldon, a lead character in The Big Bang Theory revealed his birthday in the final season in an episode that aired on the day of his character's birthday and coincidence, we share the date.  While fictional, Sheldon's reasons for not making his birthday known was his aversion to gifts, both receiving and giving.  I, too, share similar feelings about gift giving and receiving. 

Gift giving.  I'm not good at it.  I think fondly of people often; random pleasant thoughts triggered by a phrase, a picture, music, food, location, or a potential gift giving object.  I feel like I learn people likes and dislikes quickly.  Someone I worked with enjoyed gardening, so a gift certificate to Earl May Garden Center was a go-to for their gardening needs for gift giving occasions.  My gift giving default is not luxury or treat, but utility. A friend who likes playing cards and has made mention of a card shuffler on Amazon is getting that for her birthday in August.  I've already announced it, so no backsies. The husband has a tendency to need new shoes around the holidays, so shoe boxes are under the tree. Didn't the Three Wiseman give 3 gifts that first Christmas? All of which served a need.  I'm with them. 

Part of the gift giving stance is that I don't enjoy shopping; the hunt.  A friend of mine and her sister shop all year long for holiday gifts for their family members keeping a notebook to catalog the items found during multiple shopping trips to snag the best deals.  Then, they spend days wrapping just in time for the gifts to go under the tree.  This tradition brings them great joy and I applaud that.  For me, it would bring great stress.  And, let down.  One of the reasons we traveled as a family during the holidays was to avoid the "now what" feeling after the gifts are opened on Christmas morning.  Didn't have that feeling once while walking down the middle of Main Street USA on Christmas Day. (A reference to the Magic Kingdom at the Walt Disney World Resort.)  And, while my holiday shopping friend and her sister can afford their tradition, there may be others who have less of a budget but feel the need to maintain an image of what they expect gift giving to looking like.  Oh, the pull of consumerism and image maintenance!

As for gift receiving, while gracious, it makes me uncomfortable.  I wonder about use. "What will I do with this?" When I retired, I told folks to please not gift me anything that I would have to sell or pack, as we were moving. Ok, there were some personalized drink mugs and carafes that made the move.  I worry about reciprocity, a Sheldon concern.  Did I or do I reciprocate the gift?  Value? Timeliness? Oh, the pressure.  I will also confess that some gifts, after thank you's were distributed, became a part of a gift drawer for appropriate re-gifting.  A poll at the pool reveals that re-gifting is permissible and that stash of gifts has come in handy a time or two when reciprocity for gift receiving is appropriate. 

As a teen and young adult, the parents would ask for a holiday wish list in the late Fall.  For me, it was a wish list, not necessarily holiday. Since I was employed, I would often purchase items from the list myself, thoroughly frustrating my mother. As a child, I received gifts that were taken away; gifts had conditions.  Some of my favorite childhood gifts were handmade: a box of Barbie clothes, a wooden doll bed. 

You may be asking, what prompted me to write about gifting.  Well, this time of year seems to bring about a flurry of garage and estate sales.  People's belongings spread across lawns and driveways for the picking by savvy shoppers. Within that display of wares, there are most likely gifts and evidence of consumption. Do we really need all of the stuff? People are profiting off renting space for storage. 

I, too, have hosted garage sales and they are a lot of work.  And, I support the secondhand market for the selling and purchasing of goods whether it be garage sales, FB Marketplace, or consignment shops.  It reduces waste and can inspire creativity with the upcycling movement. 

I am also aware of Love Languages with one of them being "Receiving Gifts."  That is definitely not my Love Language and thank goodness, not the husband's either. 

 As I rambled through this post about gift giving and gift receiving the underlying theme emerging is also about consumption, all the stuff.  Are gifts a way to assuage guilt for personal purchasing?  And, again, is there a need for all the things? A wise person once told me to not love something that can't love you back.  Yes, one could love an item for how it makes them feel or look, protects them from the elements, conjures a memory, or has personal meaning. Those loved items may, too, have been gifts.  But, those loved items are not going to be in the garage sale or in a storage unit.  

To turn a phrase from Edna Mode of The Incredibles, "No Gifts!"