Williams Family: The Years That Nearly Broke Me

 

At the moment you are experiencing something you have no idea what is to come; only what has come before and led up to this moment. If I had known at any given moment early in the happenings what lied ahead, I might have given up. Thank goodness for friends, family, colleagues, and neighbors who helped. 

2015 to 2022 was tough.  A friend told me once that if she were going through what I was going through she would be curled up.  There were times I was curled up, catatonic.  And, there were times I was spittin' mad.  The husband said it all made me stronger. 

In the summer of 2015, after the school year had ended, I was summoned to the school district's central office.  Because of student achievement of the English Language Learner subgroup I had to be moved to become a principal at another school because of federal legislation at that time. Federal legislation that has since been re-written but you may recall, "failing" schools had to remove administration. I was moved to a school that had more red in the student achievement column than the school I was leaving, but it was the number of years in the red that mattered.  I was off contract (on summer break), students and staff were well into their summer routines. Nevertheless, I packed up my office and moved out in a day while speculation and announcements flurried.  My primary concern, the school secretary, aka administrative assistant.  She had worked with the incoming administrator before and it didn't go well.  What can we do, I asked district leaders behind the decision to move principals.  Nothing.  Well, by October, a new school secretary was needed as my warning went unheard and unheeded.  That August, I took the helm of my 5th elementary school in the district. I had done this before and knew how to make the transition as smooth as possible.  What was new about this assignment was the political arm--teacher association presidents, school board members families working at and attending the school.  This continued for the eight years of my tenure. 

In early October of 2015, our dishwasher sprang a slow leak, seeping into the subfloor of our kitchen and eventually into a portion of our basement.  Insurance company, kitchen upheaval with floor and bottom cabinets removed, mold remediation, cooking in a microwave on a cart, eating off paper plates, and walking in/out of the kitchen through a floor to ceiling plastic sheet described the days that turned into weeks. Our kitchen was put back together between Christmas and New Years. 

Then a sewer back-up in our basement on Thanksgiving 2015 led to a multi-year lawsuit with the city as city staff told me in our garage as their Valcal truck was pumping the sewer lines from a manhole cover in the street, that our home was on a "private sewer" releasing them from any responsibility.  Not the lines from our home to the main lines, but the main lines themselves throughout a neighborhood encompassing multiple streets and homes. The case went to court in August of 2021 and a judge agreed with all the evidence collected including an annexation decree.  The Iowa Supreme Court overturned the ruling citing precedent that courts could not make that ruling and ultimately city officials had to make the determination, a route that was taken first with pleas to city council members to no avail.  It felt like being betrayed by a city I had called home for the majority of my life. 

We spent Thanksgiving weekend hauling the contents of our basement into a dumpster in our driveway.  Thankful for help from friends and neighbors. We joked how it was a good thing the new kitchen floor hadn't been installed yet as we lugged damaged items up the stairs, through the kitchen, and out the back door to the dumpster. Special cleaning, and more mold remediation, this time on our dime. The deep freeze, heater, and washer made it through, but a new water heater and clothes dryer were necessary. 

This issue has resurfaced recently, and the city repaired a sewer issue on a line that one of their city department heads, who was fired in 2023, told the public, city officials, and court officers was not city's responsibility. Glad the city is taking responsibility for the sewer lines--now. 

2017-2020 a school district central office administrator who attempted more than once to admonish. I wasn't the only one in the rifle's site and shots fired worked on others who left the district. I fought back and supported others fighting back; offering advice, protective stances, and moral support. The supervisor directed others to fire shots at me and others, as if this wouldn't be evident. In December of 2019, with the help of a county attorney, an emergency injunction from a judge, and a full court press from the press, the last attempt to admonish failed and the supervisor moved on to another school district in June of 2020, was eventually demoted, then moved on to another school district. 

There were times during this central office administrator at the helm, I was told I was changing positions.  Even fielding a phone call when I was about to board a cruise ship in July, telling me I would be at a different school the next month. Upon disembarkation, another phone call revealed that was incorrect and in fact, I would principal at one school full time and another school part time, shared with another colleague.  The next summer when asked by this person where I was vacationing, I said, "I'm not telling so that I don't get a phone call telling me my position has changed." Then there was the time I was told I was moving again, this time to be a principal at a middle school.  I negotiated salary, personnel, then was told no to those negotiations.  Then, I said no.  Do you know the scene in Baby Boom when Diane Keaton's character declines the buy out offer for her baby food production company?  Well, that was my Baby Boom moment.  As I got in my car after the meeting, I called a colleague, knowing they were next in line so that they, too, could say no.  And, they did.  The administrator who took that position ended up with a salary $40,000 more than what I had negotiated, and the schools closed down in March due to Covid-19. Cha-ching to that individual!  In the first week of March of 2020 as talk of quarantining cruise ship passengers upon return circulated, this central office administrator said to me at the end of an admin meeting, "You're going on a cruise for Spring Break, right?"  I could see the look of glee in the thought of the husband and I being quarantined for two weeks without pay along with any other staff.  My response was no, headed to Walt Disney World.  Of course, we didn't make it as the world shut down the next week. 

During the last of the supervisor's reign, I was prescribed medication, which I took to help with the most difficult days (mostly nights) and saw an Employee Assistance counselor who recommended I get another job. No other strategies--quit and find employment. 

Since that time, I faced one other "hit man" who had me in tears after a day-long meeting due to disrespectful remarks and interrupting me when I spoke.  While I was stunned with the behavior displayed towards me in the meeting, so were my colleagues.  After another interaction and inappropriate remark, I stood my ground during a fierce conversation. When the husband and I retired from the district, this same person was in charge of the retirement reception, a reception that I didn't receive an invitation to as it was sent to someone else with a similar name.  Yep, not invited to my own retirement reception hosted by the school district. Thankfully, other honorees shared the invitation.  As a note, since 2022, there have been multiple job changes for this person across districts and most recently was released from a leadership position early.

The "dance of the lemons" is real.  The lasting trauma is real and dissipates with time.  Schadenfreude is real.  Disenfranchisement is real. The universe gives messages like having a court hearing in the morning and closing on your retirement home in the afternoon, having no control over the assigned dates or either. And retirement package offerings when you are ready. Living a full, satisfying life is the best response.