How Much Independence For The Boy On Our Next Disney Vacation?

How much independence for this kid on our Disney vacation?

One of the questions running through my mind as we anticipate our next Disney vacation is how much independence will we allow/desire/create for our eleven year old boy.  He has grown up enjoying Disney vacations—11 trips to Walt Disney World and 5 Disney cruises—and with each trip has earned and demonstrated more independence.

Our most recent cruise, we gave him check-in/out privileges for the kids clubs on board.  This was the first time he had had those privileges.  We had thought about it the cruise prior, but changed our minds at the last minute, since it was our first time sailing on the Dream and we were concerned he wasn’t familiar with the ship.  That was no longer a reason or excuse when we gave him that privilege as we were again sailing on the Dream.

He handed the privilege well, “mostly” returning to a designated meeting spot at a designated time.  Click here to read more.

This photo we had no idea about until we got our pictures.

On the ship, he ventured off to the AquaDuck—which required changing into his swimsuit, navigated getting his picture taken by a ship’s photographer, and even took in a movie on his own.  He is quite independent!  We had a communication system in the stateroom so that he knew where we were and vice versa.

He explored portions of Castaway Cay that were near the beach on his own. 

Our thinking, right now, is that he will again have the same privilege on the next cruise, as this time he will be able to select between going to the Oceaneer’s Club and Edge—for kids 11 to 14.  He is excited to be able to do both.  And, once he is 12, the decision about onboard privileges, other than charging, is no longer ours.

Now, what about while we are at Walt Disney World?  How independent will he be?  I can say over the last couple of trips, he had ridden rides by himself, including navigating the queue.  During our last trip, we got in line to meet characters at the Circus tent, and he went to ride the Barnstormer.  We knew the time for the stand-by line, so we could estimate how long it would be before he returned.  Also, when we neared the front of the line for the characters, I was prepared to have the people behind us move ahead while we waited for his return.  The boy returned and we met characters and posed for photos. 

Since we were staying at Disney’s Coronado Springs Resort, spending the evening at The Dig site provided something for everyone in our family all in one location and with visual access to all.  The husband and I could be in the hot tub and still keep and eye/ear for the boy if he was in the pool, on the playground, or watching a movie poolside.  Our next vacation is booked for Port Orleans French Quarter, that has all of the amenities—pool, playground, hot tub, evening movies at the resort, but they are all spread out and have either buildings or foliage in between, negating visual access.  Though, the last time we stayed there, the evening movies were being shown in the courtyard just outside our 3^rd floor room. 

I mentioned to the boy yesterday, that he may be the one to refill our mugs—something I would only consider while staying at Port Orleans French Quarter—as the food court is not far from any of the resort buildings.  The boy seemed interested to take on this job, typically held by his dad.  And, with MagicBands being used as room keys, I know he will keep it with him at all times—on his wrist!

When making decisions about his independence, we have taken cues from him, too.  Is he comfortable?  (It was his idea to go ride the Barnstormer while we waited.)  Is he confident in what he is doing?  And, are the husband and I okay with the level of independence?  All of those factors go into making the decisions, many of which have to be made on the spot and in the moment; no anticipating every situation.  It does help to be somewhat mentally prepared to make those decisions though.

I am sure we will have stories about this on-going tug and pull when we return.  There always are!

How To Keep Kids Safe While On A Walt Disney World Vacation

Is it safe inside here, mom?  Take a picture!

Mouseplanet.com’s Parent Panel offered various views and opinions about keeping kids safe at Walt Disney World, and while on vacation in general, in light of some recent incidents involving children at both the Resorts and on a Disney ship—click here if you want to read their discussion.  The Mouseplanet discussion continued with the husband and I strategizing about how to balance safety and still promote the boy’s confidence and independence.  Oh, what a fine line we parents walk;  almost like a gangplank!

Let me begin with a bit of a parent brag about our ten year old’s independence (I have no idea where it comes from –insert eye rolling here).  Two recent examples:  last week-end, I was working the concession stand as a volunteer at a local theater event.  The boy came too as he wanted to see the show.  I have him money for his ticket.  He purchased his ticket, held onto it until the theater opened, found his own seat (not the front row, but middle of the theater), and proceeded to watch the show.  I found him about 15 minutes after the show started and he did not want me to sit with him.  He was enjoying the show on his own.  I returned to the concession stand at intermission and then back to the theater when the money had been counted, only to be informed again, that he wanted to sit by himself.  Got it!  I could have dropped him off with ticket money and he would have been fine!  Then last night, he was invited to a birthday party held at a local bowling alley.  We pulled up in the car and he was ready to jump out and head in with a “see you later.”  I was several steps behind as I wanted to make contact with the parents and see if they needed anything.  Nope, he was good and I was dismissed.  Him not needing us is a good sign, I know, but each time there is a little heart twinge just the same.  I guess all those twinges now will make it easier when he leaves with the car, leaves for college, etc.

So, how do we balance the boy’s confidence and independence at the most magical place on earth that he is very familiar with and still keep him safe?

The Mouseplanet parent panel had a theme in it’s responses about swimming and that was not swimming alone.  Well, we would agree in most cases and we are sure that works well when there are siblings.  We have a singleton; a singleton who knows how to swim.  I remember when were in Moab, Utah, on our Adventures by Disney tour and the boy took off to the pool with us a few steps behind, and he jumped in to the amazement, concern, and worry of some of our traveling group already at the pool.  They looked to us as how to respond and we were just fine and so was the boy.  They were relieved when they knew he could swim.  Now, we don’t send him to the Disney resort pool by himself, but we may not be swimming right beside him either.  Is he within eye sight and ear shot?  Yes. 

Now, at the parks, he has been gradually gaining more independence, riding some rides by himself, while we ride too in another vehicle or seat.  If he asked to go by himself on say, Magic Carpets of Aladdin, we would most likely say yes and wait for him at the exit and only if it meant following Disney’s ride rules and restrictions.  When we go into a shop, I know he will stay nearby and we exit the shop together.  I am comfortable with him going to the restroom by himself while in a restaurant or when we take a bathroom break at the parks, having a designated meeting space of course.  And, I’m certain that tether of independence will continue to be stretched with each of our trips as he grows older.

Some other general things we do to keep him safe include:

• A label on the inside of his shirt in the back with my cell phone number.  When is ready to have his own phone, this will go away I suspect.
• Matching shirts—they really do come in handy.
• The boy knows how to identify Cast Members and is comfortable asking them for help.
• Designated meeting spot in case we become separated. 
• The husband and I each have our phones just in case.  But honey, I can’t answer it when my hands are full carrying a tray of food.  Okay?
• Familiarity with the parks, resort, etc. are very helpful.  When we leave Japan in EPCOT and the boy wants to go to Germany, we know he can get there on his own and we can follow.

Each family and parent has to figure out the balance for themselves and what works for their children.  If our child was less confident, then our strategies may be different.  Oh, growing up is so hard, no wonder Peter Pan was not going to do it.  I don’t blame him one bit!

Have your own safety strategies?  Let us know by posting a comment.