It’s our ten year wedding anniversary today! We were married at half-past seven on July 20, 2002. It was hot that day. Very hot! The husband reminds me that we were married on the surface of the sun. I don’t remember all the heat. I remember sweating a bit and needing to be wiped down under my dress—thank you, Moira—and I remember being happy, elated. I also remember both of us crying during the ceremony. The husband started it!
But alas, a wedding doesn’t make a marriage. Marriage is the minute by minute, day by day melding of two lives into one unit; a family unit. And, it doesn’t necessarily take a wedding to make that happen—just commitment. Yep, that’s what marriage is, a commitment.
A marriage takes work. Sometimes the work is easy and sometimes it’s hard. Knowing when to bite your lip and knowing when to push a little or support a lot is all a part of the ebb and flow. Knowing what you need and asking for it and listening when your partner does the same. Part art and part science and all love.
I remember watching a movie with Dennis Quaid and Andie MacDowell—Dinner With Friends—if memory serves. There was this scene when their characters were opening their summer home and taking the covers off the furniture, etc. and talking about something other than what they were doing. Their characters were so insinc like they had done this task before, many times, and it was automatic. I wanted that. And, I got it or at least on Sunday mornings when we change the sheets on our bed. We have done that task together so many times, it requires no communication other than whether or not it is time for flannel sheets, and we can talk about other things and still accomplish the task with efficiency. That’s what I’m talking about!
Other couples might be able to load and unload a boat from a trailer into a lake or river, or others share a kitchen, or paint and wallpaper together. All tasks taking teamwork to handle skillfully.
So, how are we celebrating our decade? Quietly. Reservedly. Our celebratory day is also shared by the husband’s mother’s birthday. Carol is turning 85 today and we are focusing on her as the only thing she asked for was a picnic by a lake. Yep, we can make that happen for her. I’m sure there will be a look across the picnic basket that the husband and I will share that says we recognize the other memorable event of the day. That will do it for me. Oh, and we are getting new tires on our van on Monday—that will count as our “gift.” Not the traditional gift of tin or aluminum or modern gift of diamonds, but a gift of durability and flexibility nonetheless.
Happy Anniversary, Honey! Here’s to another ten years! (Clink)