Williams Family Blog: Please Don't Expect Me To Be Small To Make You Feel Less Fear

 

Something happened the other day that caused me to reflect on who I am and how other people may perceive me.

From a young age I was told I was "too loud"; yes, my voice carries which can be a gift in an emergency, on a crowded playground, in a classroom, or on a stage.  I have spent a lifetime monitoring my voice volume and envying those on TV and movie screens that speak at a whisper and draw attention. Now, with a husband who has difficulty hearing, my volume is a savior to our relationship. When you get a chance, ask the husband about the night of trick-or-treating with the boy in a dinosaur costume who didn't have on shoes and how my loud voice helped remedy the situation.  Our boy has a booming voice (no DNA involved there) who uses it on stage for acting and singing.  

Nice isn't my go-to setting as I typically don't worry about what others think of me.  I saw the damage that image maintenance did/does and thought, "that's not for me."  Someday I'll share the metaphor of the daybed.  I'm too blunt for nice and at the same time I have cultivated precision and succinctness with a positive frame when communicating verbally.  Kind? Yes. Compassionate? Yes. Considerate? Yes. Nice felt like I had to be small and something that I wasn't.  Yep, nice isn't on the top 10 words people would use to describe me.  And, why is nice expected anyway?

Smart, with a desire to be wise, along with situational awareness would be checks on my side of the board.  School, problem solving, game strategies, and absorbing content come easily.  Demonstrating to others that there is more than one way to solve a problem, even a curve ball sometimes, brings me satisfaction. Reading a room, interpreting a situation, decision making, planning, and anticipation feel like fortes. I was told once that I didn't have empathy and someone, who worked closely with me, told me that my ability to anticipate what people are going to need and plan accordingly is my way of showing empathy; through action.  Hugs all around, there! 

Curious.  I am genuinely curious about people and the world.  I'm not someone who takes apart a machine to figure out how it works, but I will analyze people and situations.  I said these words the other day, "even though these two people are at odds, ironically, they want the same end."  I am continually intrigued by humans and while I'm no Jane Goodall, I do have years of experience observing! 

It is difficult/uncomfortable for me to be vulnerable.  Very few experience this side of me; only the trusted.  And, if my vulnerability slips out, unawares beyond those fringes, anger follows--at myself, not them. If you find yourself in the circle of trust, know that it can easily be broken.  Yet, many entrust me with their secrets. If you find me sharing with you and segue to a story about yourself that my sharing prompted, know that I am done talking, but not necessarily finished and you will not know the rest; the ending. When you are talking, I too, have connections and stories.  I will either wait until you are finished (crossing my fingers to help me recall) or I will not share depending on the time, tenor, and intensity of the conversation. One's undivided attention and listening with engagement is the greatest gift! Interruption is a faux pas.  If I commit, apologies are issued immediately! 

While the husband may disagree, although there is evidence to the contrary, I do not need the last word.  In a conversation, in an email exchange, in a text message. I am aware of those that do need the last word and find it interesting.  I experiment sometimes to see how many exchanges someone is willing to take to get the last word.  Ooops!  Revealed!

Interestingly/ironically, the person who behaved in such a way to cause this reflection has indicated that they are reading and reflecting on how others perceive them as a growth goal. I realize their behavior was out of fear for both me and them, but I wasn't the one who caused the confusion and prompted the fear. And, I wasn't afraid.  Maybe I don't have enough knowledge or experience to be fearful. But being afraid is also not one of my default settings. And, yet, I capitulated to appease.  Still growing. 

Williams Family Blog: 3 Years Living in Florida

 

Ok, I'm a bit late (2 weeks) with the update, but we have been Floridians for 3 years!

If you want to read what our life was like at year 2, click here. 

And, here's a post at a year and a half.

For the folks who have been following our adventures for either a short time or well over a decade, know that living in Central Florida was a dream that we made come true.  No jealousy or envy, just know that if you put your mind to something and set a goal, you can achieve it.  We did!

The People:  

Well, we have family, friends, and neighbors nearby and have guests visit.  We've cruised with a couple who are neighbor friends, spent New Year's Eve with folks within the neighborhood, and enjoy weekly dominoes games, along with other visits to Disney theme parks, Disney Springs, shopping, or going out to eat.

When you move to a brand-new place, you want to have folks who you can call in the middle of the night with an emergency or vice versa.  We have that in multitudes. 

I am on our HOA Board and also an Orlando Health Patient Family Board that meets quarterly.  It feels good to give back.

The Places:

Since the update a year ago, we have driven to Miami, stayed overnight, and sailed from the port.  Have been to multiple beaches on the gulf side.  And, we rode with friends to Fort Lauderdale to board a Disney ship.  

I have become more familiar with Downtown Orlando, with visits to Orlando Health for Board Meetings, my endodontist, and Dr. Phillips Performing Arts Center.  My secret parking spot raised its price!!!  One of our friends had an unexpected hospital stay in downtown Orlando and we made a visit--easy to navigate.  Sandford Airport has been the most frequented airport in the last year with the drive feeling familiar. 

We visit Disney theme parks, Disney Springs, and Disney Resorts on the regular.  When driving home from EPCOT the other night, I told the husband that there is now an automaticity when driving to/from the parks.  

The Services:

This past year, we added dance lessons to our repertoire, with an Author Murray Studio not far away. 

The husband frequents the library, which is in downtown Windermere, with one of our neighbor friends asking to accompany to learn more.  Orange County libraries make home deliveries of desired books; the husband loves that service! 

If you ask the husband what he does on Mondays, he will say the following:  a stop at Publix grocery store, if necessary, followed by Wal-Mart weekly order pick-up, then Bronson Liquor 2 if needed, with the last stop being New York Beer Project featuring half-price growler refills.  We have a rewards account with Bronson and the folks at New York Beer Project recognize him.  The route is efficient (and takes him behind Magic Kingdom). He is frequently asked to pick up items for neighbors during his Monday routine. 

In the last year, I have taken advantage of the tailor service within walking distance, along with Chase Bank to get Euros to take to Italy/Greece/Croatia.  And I've walked to our dentist, which is in the same shopping complex. 

A new location that we have explored is downtown Winter Garden, a neighboring community.  The quaint downtown with brick paved streets has museums, shops, restaurants, a theater, and festivals.  This is where you can find my favorite tennis shoe store--I'm on the email list, they keep track of purchases, and there is a customer loyalty program. 

The Things:

When I wrote about this a year ago, the things were tangible, stuff.  We still have less stuff, but I have made multiple donations to our local Goodwill.  Where is it coming from? 

Traffic--can still be a mess depending on where/when.  We plan drives accordingly.  An 8:00 am appointment, while convenient, means a busy drive.  10:00 works better.  Distance is in time, not miles.  10 miles=20 minutes.  The other day, driving 17 miles took 40 minutes. 

Weather:  Well, I'll say we turned on our heat for the first time this past January/ February.  Many plants froze during the cold weather snap that hadn't been experienced in over a decade.  I wore pants more often this winter than the previous two that we have lived here.  Other than that, we love it!  Our lanai is a prominent location daily for all of us, including naps if appropriate.  Last Summer lacked a hurricane season which was appreciated.  When it gets hot, we adjust.  But sometimes I am cold at 75 degrees.  Acclimation. 

We've been asked if we miss the seasons and no, not really.  There are seasons in Florida.  For example, the foliage does change color and leaves fall, it isn't during the same time of year as "Fall or Autumn." 

Unexpected benefits:  

We are both more active.  My flexibility, endurance, and general health improve each day.  Walking in the neighborhood, pool movement, or walking in the theme parks is a regular occurrence. They say Florida is where the Fountain of Youth is located.  

We miss our boy, but text/talk frequently.  I do stay on top of state and local news for both Florida and Iowa. 

As I headed to the pool the other day, not to be in the water, but to enjoy the scenery and chit chat with others who may be there, the husband asked what my goal was and I said, "to be familiar, comfortable, and not drain others' energy."  That is how I feel about living here--for it to be familiar, comfortable, and not drain our energy. 

Williams Family: Disney Questions I Get Asked . . .and the Answers Including Best Tips!

Now that we have lived in Walt Disney World's backyard for nearly 3 years and have been Disney fans for decades, there are questions I or we get asked.  Answering isn't always easy, especially when it comes to "favorites."

What's your favorite park? 

Well, it depends. If there is a festival of some sort with concerts or performances, EPCOT is the park we frequent most often. Magic Kingdom is iconic and is the East Coast's original Disney park. The husband loves the Animals at Animal Kingdom, but I think we would both agree that Hollywood Studios is our favorite park--for shows and attractions. Hollywood Studios is also the "easiest" park in terms of parking, entrance, etc. 

As far as access to other resorts, Hollywood Studios again for the win as a transportation hub with boat transportation to the EPCOT area resorts, Skyliner transportation to Riviera, Caribbean Beach, Pop Century, and Art of Animation. And, Hollywood Studios has bus transportation to any other resort and Disney Springs.  But EPCOT has the most transportation options--busses, boats, Skyliner, and Monorail. 

What's your favorite attraction? 

If you are talking roller coasters, it's easy--Expedition Everest. It's a great ride, has single rider line, offers a ride photo, and is easy on/off; a 4-part trifecta! If you are talking about attractions in general, then Enchanted Tales With Belle. I am mesmerized by the transition of Maurice's workshop every time--it's baffling. And, of course, Belle is my favorite princess so there is that. As for the husband, he likes Toy Story Mania, Buzz Lightyear, and anything Star Wars. His favorite show is Indiana Jones Epic Stunt Spectacular, but is a bit anticlimactic now that there are no more guest performers picked from the audience. He had that down to a science. 

Click here to read about my Belle themed day at Walt Disney World.

Can you go anytime? 

Yes. Our Annual Passes do not have any blackout dates. We can hold up to 5 park reservations at a time, and if we are going to a park after 2:00 pm, no reservation is needed, except for Magic Kingdom on the week-ends. And, there are "Good to Go" days where no Passholder Reservations are needed. 

Do you "do" the parks differently now compared to when you vacationed and stayed at a Disney Resort? 

We do "do" the parks differently, but that change happened gradually even when we were vacationing. The family began to revolt at the rope drop to park close touring style and break afternoons or break days became part of the vacation routine and schedule. As the boy got older, he wanted to do things by himself or with his dad. He even had a friend at another Orlando Resort that he hung out with a couple of times our vacations coincided. When we moved and had pets to consider, entire day touring wasn't needed and was less convenient than a few hours at a time. If we want to see parades, we go at those times, or for fireworks, etc. So, yes, our park touring style has changed, but it was changing prior to moving.  When guests come and they want to get the most out of their admission ticket, then the rules change and we're back to "tourist touring." 

I do miss the Disney Resorts, though. They are beautiful, immersive, and smell good. Being able to visit Disney Resorts is another benefit of living where we live. A neighbor said that she didn't know you could visit Disney Resorts if you weren't staying there, which is incorrect. Now, certain parts of Disney Resorts are closed to non-resort guests, such as swimming pools, or fireworks viewing areas during holidays. But there is something about dining near the Animal Kingdom Lodge Jambo House pool, or at Caribbean Beach's Banana Cabana listening to music and enjoying the view, or at Bar Riva at The Riviera, or Geyser Point at Wilderness Lodge enjoying a Bison burger overlooking Bay Lake, or strolling Coronado Springs Resort and stopping at Barcelona. My two favorite strolls right now are the walks between Caribbean Beach and The Riviera, and the walk from the Polynesian past Island Tower (oh, that corner!!) and on to the Grand Floridian. 

Is it expensive? 

It can be. We typically do not spend money on food, drinks, and souvenirs while at the parks. If we do, it is a snack to share, such as a Popcorn bucket refill or egg rolls from China, or a festival food booth item to sample. We bring bottled water with us. Parking at the Disney Parks is included with our pass. If we go out to eat, then yes, there is an expense. Since portions can be large, we often share an entree and use our Annual Passholder discount if applicable. Our pass is a monthly interest-free charge since we live in Florida and we receive either a discount or a rebate when we renew. Our monthly cable/internet bill is about the same as the monthly charge for 2 Annual Passes with year-long Photopass access. 

We also use a Disney Visa through Chase for household expenses, paying the balance monthly, and earn Disney Reward Dollars that can be used for purchases throughout the Walt Disney World Resort. If you see the husband with a beer at EPCOT, chances are he paid using Disney Rewards. 

Do you get tired of it? 

No. Each visit, each experience, is new and unique. It would be difficult to replicate an experience even if you tried--I want to circle back to that. And, we take advantage of access to new attractions, restaurants, and offerings. It is fun to experience firsts such as opening day of Geo-82, or the first Candlelight Processional of the season. For me, witnessing someone else's new experience is rewarding, too! 

Other than touring style, what else has changed for you as a Disney Guest since you moved to Orlando? 

I don't know if it changed when we moved or if it is more prevalent now that we frequent the parks, but bumping into/overhearing guests that have incorrect information or are relying on a memory of a previous visit, circling back to the difficult to recreate an experience. 

Frequently, I hear guests talking about when they were "here" and "over there" was such and such only to be surprised or disappointed that whatever that was is no longer there and it is now something new/different that they weren't aware of. For example, we were waiting to meet Jiminy Cricket at Hollywood Studios and the family behind us was asking their young son if he wanted to meet Lightning McQueen because they had done that on their last visit. Before the son could answer and disappointment reigned, I interjected that Lightning McQueen Racing Academy is where the new Villains show is now. 

Walt Disney World is one of the most written about, videoed, podcasted, tik toked, instagramed destinations. It has its own website and app to readily access information. And, yes, that information can and does change somewhat frequently, but it is still accessible. I will also assert that Walt Disney World advertisements do not help--commercials with the monorail flying by Animal Kingdom Lodge--in terms of the reality compared to guest expectations. Even as locals who are immersed in all things Disney, staying up to date is a task.  

 

Are there Disney things you no longer do or won't do? 

Yes. I will no longer crawl/climb/fling myself in/out of attractions. I have also developed attraction seating preferences for comfort. No first rows on Pirates, Small World, Dinosaur, or Kilimanjaro Safari. If a wait time is longer than an hour, we'll come back another day. Three of us Disney lady friends were touring Hollywood Studios one morning--we had to leave the park by noon. At 11:00 am, the wait time for Slinky Dog was 35 minutes and the newbie of the group was like no, we can do it another time. The other two of us looked at each other with knowing glances and said, "This is good wait time, let's do it." We did. Knowledge and experience at work. 

What is your best tip for visiting the Walt Disney World Resort? 

Know that there is no one right way to do Disney. If that were the case, everyone would do the same things in lockstep. The way that works for your traveling party is the right way. Got sleepy teens? Arriving later in the morning and staying late may be your way. Young ones, or adults, who want naps? Early morning arrival then afternoon breaks may be better. Disney veterans? A multi-park day hitting the highlights may be the itinerary. 

I would recommend narrowing down priorities, budget, stamina, and then manage expectations.

Priorities: Top 3 most important things for each member of the traveling party. Is it characters? Attractions? Shows? Food? Fireworks? Then, plan accordingly. It is OK for larger parties to split up. Also, when asking children what they want to do, narrow it down with options such as "Do you want to ride Ariel's under the sea ride, it's not scary, or see Belle in her library?" Asking kiddos, what do you want to do, when they have no idea what is available, especially if it is their first visit, will most likely get "swim in the pool" as an answer. 

Budget: Staying on Walt Disney World property can be costly, but it is also most efficient with Disney transportation and access to early park entry or other on-site perks. Staying offsite will potentially offer savings, and then extra time will be spend moving back and forth to the parks. Know how much you are willing to spend. Going beyond can be stressful, which is not the point of the vacation.

Stamina: Walt Disney World is huge and requires walking and standing, unless mobility devices are used. The parks are noisy and busy--lots of visual and auditory stimulation. Then add weather. It can be a lot and make humans tired and cranky. Add sleeping in strange beds, eating different foods at potentially different times of day, and possibly changing time zones to the mix. Know what the humans are going to need, what can get accomplished, and plan accordingly. And, please, for the love of yourself, wear sturdy, comfortable shoes! We frequently see people hobbling and grimacing. 

Managing Expectations: Take doing it all off the table; it's not possible in one visit or vacation, hence the need for priorities. If everyone gets to experience their top 3 that is a win. The rest is icing. Be present and find magic in the moments.