Williams Family: My Take On Gifts

 

Sheldon, a lead character in The Big Bang Theory revealed his birthday in the final season in an episode that aired on the day of his character's birthday and coincidence, we share the date.  While fictional, Sheldon's reasons for not making his birthday known was his aversion to gifts, both receiving and giving.  I, too, share similar feelings about gift giving and receiving. 

Gift giving.  I'm not good at it.  I think fondly of people often; random pleasant thoughts triggered by a phrase, a picture, music, food, location, or a potential gift giving object.  I feel like I learn people likes and dislikes quickly.  Someone I worked with enjoyed gardening, so a gift certificate to Earl May Garden Center was a go-to for their gardening needs for gift giving occasions.  My gift giving default is not luxury or treat, but utility. A friend who likes playing cards and has made mention of a card shuffler on Amazon is getting that for her birthday in August.  I've already announced it, so no backsies. The husband has a tendency to need new shoes around the holidays, so shoe boxes are under the tree. Didn't the Three Wiseman give 3 gifts that first Christmas? All of which served a need.  I'm with them. 

Part of the gift giving stance is that I don't enjoy shopping; the hunt.  A friend of mine and her sister shop all year long for holiday gifts for their family members keeping a notebook to catalog the items found during multiple shopping trips to snag the best deals.  Then, they spend days wrapping just in time for the gifts to go under the tree.  This tradition brings them great joy and I applaud that.  For me, it would bring great stress.  And, let down.  One of the reasons we traveled as a family during the holidays was to avoid the "now what" feeling after the gifts are opened on Christmas morning.  Didn't have that feeling once while walking down the middle of Main Street USA on Christmas Day. (A reference to the Magic Kingdom at the Walt Disney World Resort.)  And, while my holiday shopping friend and her sister can afford their tradition, there may be others who have less of a budget but feel the need to maintain an image of what they expect gift giving to looking like.  Oh, the pull of consumerism and image maintenance!

As for gift receiving, while gracious, it makes me uncomfortable.  I wonder about use. "What will I do with this?" When I retired, I told folks to please not gift me anything that I would have to sell or pack, as we were moving. Ok, there were some personalized drink mugs and carafes that made the move.  I worry about reciprocity, a Sheldon concern.  Did I or do I reciprocate the gift?  Value? Timeliness? Oh, the pressure.  I will also confess that some gifts, after thank you's were distributed, became a part of a gift drawer for appropriate re-gifting.  A poll at the pool reveals that re-gifting is permissible and that stash of gifts has come in handy a time or two when reciprocity for gift receiving is appropriate. 

As a teen and young adult, the parents would ask for a holiday wish list in the late Fall.  For me, it was a wish list, not necessarily holiday. Since I was employed, I would often purchase items from the list myself, thoroughly frustrating my mother. As a child, I received gifts that were taken away; gifts had conditions.  Some of my favorite childhood gifts were handmade: a box of Barbie clothes, a wooden doll bed. 

You may be asking, what prompted me to write about gifting.  Well, this time of year seems to bring about a flurry of garage and estate sales.  People's belongings spread across lawns and driveways for the picking by savvy shoppers. Within that display of wares, there are most likely gifts and evidence of consumption. Do we really need all of the stuff? People are profiting off renting space for storage. 

I, too, have hosted garage sales and they are a lot of work.  And, I support the secondhand market for the selling and purchasing of goods whether it be garage sales, FB Marketplace, or consignment shops.  It reduces waste and can inspire creativity with the upcycling movement. 

I am also aware of Love Languages with one of them being "Receiving Gifts."  That is definitely not my Love Language and thank goodness, not the husband's either. 

 As I rambled through this post about gift giving and gift receiving the underlying theme emerging is also about consumption, all the stuff.  Are gifts a way to assuage guilt for personal purchasing?  And, again, is there a need for all the things? A wise person once told me to not love something that can't love you back.  Yes, one could love an item for how it makes them feel or look, protects them from the elements, conjures a memory, or has personal meaning. Those loved items may, too, have been gifts.  But, those loved items are not going to be in the garage sale or in a storage unit.  

To turn a phrase from Edna Mode of The Incredibles, "No Gifts!"

The Boy Fared Well This Holiday Season

Yesterday I wrote about how Christmas turned out for me, but you may be wondering about the boy’s Christmas.

Let me begin with having an early November birthday works well for him.  He gets to create a “wish list” that can take gift givers through his birthday and the holidays.

For the last two years, he has saved up his birthday money to purchase a “big” item for himself.  Last year—2013, while his parents had wrapped up a Disney Infinity game (the original) for the Wii, he decided to use his birthday money to purchase a WiiU.  Good thing he decided that prior to taking the plastic wrap off the game as we were able to exchange it for a WiiU version.

This year, he decided he wanted to purchase a tablet with his birthday funds.  After an iPad debacle, he ended up with a Samsung Galaxy Tab 4.  So, holiday gift givers, including Santa, could not go wrong with Google Play gift cards!  He ended up with several to the tune of over $100. 

For his birthday this November—2014, we came to the table with Disney Infinity 2.0.  This, too, allowed for various playsets and characters to be included as holiday gifts.  The boy ended up with several. 

New pajamas, a robe, slippers, headset and earbuds rounded out his haul along with gift cards from Target and Dominoes.  And, grandparents gave cash which burned a hole in his pocket until he bought two new games for the WiiU and additional Disney Infinity play pieces. 

I appreciate how he is using his money to purchase the expensive items!  I hope this trend continues.

P.S.  I'm also envisioning some movie purchases on Google Play that can go with us on our trip this summer!

I Got Everything I Wanted For Christmas!

I got everything I wanted for Christmas!  Did you? 

I’m a practical person with no illusions about grand holiday gifts.  And ever since I started working as a teenager, I drove my mother crazy at the holidays.  She would start asking around October or so, what I would like for Christmas.  Of course, I would have a list.  But that same list was my “wish list” of sorts and I would purchase items on the list as money allowed making my mother furious.  I never did figure out that I needed to give her a different list.  I wonder how many times she had to take something back. . .

Now, I’m married and have a family.  I told the husband all I wanted for Christmas was new black socks.  In fact, I was explaining the type of socks to him while waiting for one of the boy’s holiday concerts to start and the mom in front of me started laughing as she had a similar conversation with her mother.  My black socks, part of the daily winter uniform of black socks and white turtleneck, had holes, or lost partners.  It had become a challenge to find black socks in the morning and sometimes I ended up wearing navy. 

The husband came through bringing home 3 pairs of black socks after I had sent him to the store with an example.  He even added in a pair of tan socks—for my non black wearing days. 

Another gift the husband came home with was a lovely red cardigan sweater from Christopher and Banks.  I called our local store and asked if they had the sweater in the color and size I wanted.  They did!  I then completed the transaction over the phone including using a $15 off coupon making the total for the sweater $5 and change as the sweater was already 40% off!  All the husband needed to do was pick-it up (he said they were waiting for him when he came into the store and handed him the sack), bring it home, and put it under the tree.

Another item on my wish list was a new pair of winter boots.  These actually came after Christmas as I ordered them on-line from HSN as they were a Today’s Special sometime after the holidays.  Oh, and I found an on-line coupon saving $10 and made money back by shopping through one of my favorite money saving/making sites—Ebates.com (and there's a great $10 sign-up bonus!)

The husband’s mom delivered with her annual gifts of passes to our local pool/waterpark.  A gift that keeps on giving and a bargain when purchased in the middle of winter.  But, I had an additional gift—a heating pad.  Huh?  Okay—there are times when I get so cold that I go to bed after a hot shower with a hat on, wearing pajamas and a robe that have been warmed in the dryer and covered with a blanket that has also been warmed in the dryer.  It isn’t often, thank goodness.  And, then there are those times of the month when a heating pad can bring on major relief.  I have one that I keep at work, so while the husband and his mom were holiday shopping, they happened upon a heating pad and it became a holiday gift for me!

Add a new pair of slippers—free from Amazon using gift cards earned through Swagbucks, a pair of brown boots (no more hot gluing on the heel), a new skillet purchased at Kohl’s using a $10 off coupon, and two new sets of flannel sheets—one from Kohl’s using another $10 off coupon and another set on clearance at Target. 

Only the slippers, new red sweater, and heating pad were under the tree.  All the rest, I took care off—crossing them off the list as I went.  Oh, that would have driven my mother crazy!