Gateway Profanity and Auditory Hallucinations--This Is My Life!

Sometimes real life makes you shake your head wondering if comedy writers are writing your life as you couldn’t even make up stuff this good.  There were a couple of moments the other evening that left me feeling just that way.

It began with the boy telling me he had gotten in trouble at school that day for saying the “f” word.  I probed more—what happened, etc.  Seems he had said “What the flip!” and was tattled on and then got in trouble.  He told me with a “so surprised this happened” tone.  What he didn’t expect was my response which was “your intent was the same—therefore, you had every reason to get in trouble.”  He couldn’t disagree.  We problem solved and talked about the lesson learned.

The husband then proceeded to tell me that the boy got in trouble for using the “f” word at school that day.  I told the husband that the boy had already told me, but he continued on.  Seems the boy had told him with more of a “feel sorry for me, I am a victim” tone.  The husband’s take was that the boy probably did say it, got tattled on, etc.

That’s when I reminded the husband as to why I don’t even like words such as fart or crap to be used.  While not profanity specifically, I find then crass and vulgar.  The husband doesn’t feel quite the same way.  I explained that those words are “gateway profanity” and just lead to the use of more profane words.  He laughed and told me I should put that in my comedy act.  He got the last word on that one.

Later that same evening, the husband yelled from the other part of the house asking if I had said something to him.  “No.”  When he got a bit closer, I asked him if he was hearing things—having auditory hallucinations.  He replied that a medical professional had told him that when you are in a healthy, significant relationship it is perfectly normal to have auditory hallucinations; to hear the voice of your significant other in your head.

I told him that I find that ironic as when I am actually talking to him, he doesn’t listen!

He agreed.  Last word on that one: me.

Still smiling and shaking my head.  You just can’t write stuff as good as real life.